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Learn how to work on yourself before getting into a new relationship.

Updated: Jan 30, 2019

Have you ever taken the time to get to know yourself? Do you really like who you are? Have relationships in the past turned you into a hurt and bitter person? Does it seem as though you're attracting unhealthy people? If you've answered yes to any of these questions then I would say it's time to do some inner personal work! Our past often leave us with such a disdain in our heart toward others and even ourselves. The very thing we don't like we've become ourselves. We are the product of our environments. When you are hurt from the past what do you have to offer? Let's think about it, If you were in a relationship where your significant other constantly cheated then the one thing you'll offer in your next relationship is insecurity. If you were mentally abused and was always told negative things about yourself then most likely what you'll offer is abuse in your next relationship or perhaps you'll find it hard to be treated nice. We are damaged goods so guess what? We offer these damaged goods and show this in our future relationships. How do we begin working from the inside out? How do you begin developing into a new you? First thing we'll need to do is swallow the pill of truth! Let's do this together. Grab a note pad, a pen and let's find out who we've become as a result of our experiences.

1. Begin listing what you remember about how you were treated by your parents. One list for mom and one list for dad. (i.e., were they patient, kind, a screamer, were you insulted with name calling, spanked with the first thing they could reach? Did they not discipline at all?) Underline all negative things.

2. How did your parents treat each other?

3. What were your siblings like? How did you treat each other?

4. How did the kids treat you at school? (i.e., Were they mean? Were you ostracized? Were you popular?)

5. What kind of boyfriend/girlfriend relationship have you experienced. (i.e., Did anyone ever commit? were they mean? )

Take a look at everything you've underlined. You are a product of it all. Let's begin a work now.

It is imperative to forgive. We must forgive those who have hurt you. Why? So that you can release all negative energy that you've been carrying internally. That pain have held you captive and you've continued to nurse that hurt. We've tried to make other's pay for our past hurt. Next we must forgive ourselves for the way we've behaved in our past because we were hurt. We must forgive ourselves for allowing any abuse to take place in our lives as adults. We must forgive ourselves for staying too long. In order for us to be loved we must be able to love. In order to be honored we must be honorable. Why am I demanding that you forgive? So you can start anew. So you can be whole again.

NOW daily repeat these words: I am someone who forgive others, I don't hold on to the past, I no longer accept abuse and I don't abuse others. I no longer blame others, but I take responsibility for my part. I will only attract beautiful souls. I will be friends with those who will hold me accountable. I will control my atmosphere by being a light. I will attract light, I am beautiful, I am kind, I am full of love. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am confident and strong. I am free!!

#dating #selfesteem #relationshipcoach #coach #healing #relationship

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